Are progress-focused skills just conversational tricks?
In a recent training group I had been teaching participants about several progress-focused techniques such as the NOAM 7 steps approach, the progress-focused circle technique, the positive no technique, and progress-focused directing (which is a way of making your expectations clear in a motivated and constructive manner).
On the second day of the training, one of the participants made a remark which was something like this: "First of all, I really find all of this interesting and useful but I am wondering about something. If both we employees and managers learn progress-focused skills aren't both parties just becoming better at conversational trickery? First my manager will try to make a clever formulation to try to get me to do something and then I will counter that will some clever formulation of the positive no technique. It feels just like we are just applying tricks? I just don't think we will still be able to be honest and spontaneous!"
I listened carefully and after she finished and I asked her: "Am I assuming correctly that you are implicitly asking what I think about that?" She replied that she was not asking for my view on the topic and she reiterated her point. With a smile I replied: "Okay, since you are not asking me for my views I will give you my unsolicited opinion."
I told her that I thought that the question whether both managers and employees are just getting better at conversational trickery is a good question. Then I explained that I don't view these progress-focused techniques as tricks at all. At least not in the sense that they are intended for misleading or manipulating people or for playing opportunistic games. Instead, I view them as skills which can help managers, coaches, teachers and employees to communicate about what they think is really important in a very specific, clear and respectful manner. They help them to explore and express what is really important.
Just saying.
On the second day of the training, one of the participants made a remark which was something like this: "First of all, I really find all of this interesting and useful but I am wondering about something. If both we employees and managers learn progress-focused skills aren't both parties just becoming better at conversational trickery? First my manager will try to make a clever formulation to try to get me to do something and then I will counter that will some clever formulation of the positive no technique. It feels just like we are just applying tricks? I just don't think we will still be able to be honest and spontaneous!"
I listened carefully and after she finished and I asked her: "Am I assuming correctly that you are implicitly asking what I think about that?" She replied that she was not asking for my view on the topic and she reiterated her point. With a smile I replied: "Okay, since you are not asking me for my views I will give you my unsolicited opinion."
I told her that I thought that the question whether both managers and employees are just getting better at conversational trickery is a good question. Then I explained that I don't view these progress-focused techniques as tricks at all. At least not in the sense that they are intended for misleading or manipulating people or for playing opportunistic games. Instead, I view them as skills which can help managers, coaches, teachers and employees to communicate about what they think is really important in a very specific, clear and respectful manner. They help them to explore and express what is really important.
Just saying.
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